a deconstruction of self (random thoughts)

a temporary manual to confide, in hopes of reducing into a permanant manual to abide (less the redundancy)

an attempt to repair & rebuild what was so haphazardly created

to remove thoughts, behaviors, stimuli, people, possessions & the automated responses that inhibit progress that are in direct opposition to the fundamental goals/values

to journey inward & mindfully “clean house” with the utmost of scrutiny. using logic, reason & self knowledge to assess what stays, what goes and what is worth nurturing to the new standard

an appraisal of the current condition

to undo what has accumulated & been built by thoughtless inaction. if such can happen without effort then perhaps much can be done with effort. do

to bring to fruition unrealized/unfulfilled potential. i believe that is the cause of my duress. not a tragic upbringing, less than stellar environment or lack of any “thing” but the internal awareness that one has not done all they are capable of in any endeavor chosen (be it father, husband or creator)

to be rid of the demons inherited by someone else’s hand

to have my own nature be in accordance with the universal nature that surrounds. eliminating the agonizing search for meaning thru religion, philosophy & academia. that by self knowledge & analysis all questions are answered by internal resonance and not “the word”

to precede all action with deliberate intent. control time, harness impulsivity & desire. to be at the command of the will and not the whims of it’s weakness

to strip away any doctrine, creed, ritual, ideology that makes up the amalgamated crafted character. only that which passes the parameters of my process shall remain regardless of source

simplicity, clarity, directness

outside of birth I have arrived here without the aid of a mother or father. i am not about to adopt one now. why any man would wish to relinquish control & command over to some appointed beacon of light I will never understand. savior vs save your. intuition & instinct have always been the guide

to remove any habit in state from blind inheritance. to attach no other name or face to my path as it will cease to be “my”. however hand selected multitudes will have helped pave it. one lifetime is not enough to do all the work needed.

amputate the dead limbs of lethargy. any and all time rapists be banished, be it individual, vice or permeating thought

that output exceed input. exert more than ingest

give time it’s due. let one moments work be performed in one moment

foundation is everything. put the fun back into fundamentals. reduction to it’s simplest form allows for greater building blocks of complexity. a few well thought lines could replace all the wisdom of the ages if one is so inclined to trust

to master action & reaction

to begin with the nihilistic mind. that morals are manmade. no belief system, no allegiance. now bring in by choice and careful consideration only that which supports the new framework. ones own hand can pen their purpose.

that no imprint be imposed without the authorization of the recipient. for if you never accept it you will not have to expend to discard it

the buddhist mind says “empty your cup” ”remove all attachments” to end suffering. i do not subscribe to the notion that one can eliminate or be impervious to suffering (as one who has suffered their entire life). i do believe one can achieve control over the effects by ones perception of the event

to make the uncomfortable comfortable, the unnatural natural

all things do not have to be all things

evolve or dissolve

do not mistake complacency for contentment

trust within contains all without

observing an act is still participating

focus can fail. the keys are often found when not looking. sometimes we see more with eyes closed than with a microscope. taking ones hand off the wheel and letting the natural order of events unfold may reveal what intense analysis may not. both are valid and necessary to receive what a functional focus may filter & flush. helping to discern flow from force. we can choose to expose the nerve or numb it. one reveals the other conceals. feel vs…

we’ve made no thing… only discovered.

did we fail all expectations? did we lose the laws you gave us? did the sign in the shop say the bottoms gonna drop so we all had to make it so?

allow fallacies to flounder. is what’s repressed equal to what’s depressed?

be matter that matters. love not loathe. fertile not futile. continue to serve and be served, to and from those deserved. enable the unable, not to manufacture a dependent but to act as training wheels to independence. there is always someone above or below. the chain must be strong on both sides of the link. hold & be held

admire & admonish. the painfully perplexing patterns of personality are in desperate need of an inventory & audit. avoid pantomining precepts. the law of the will should be innate or instilled by inspiration not imitation. the fabric may need mending but the entire garment need not be discarded

improve upon the improvised

the sedintary seed should not be watered. no fertilizing the futile. a putrid pestilence may plague it’s pastures

a sardonic wit becomes a noose of negativity. strive for a deficit if not brevity

intercept the involuntary intrusion of the uniformed. no reticent resident revered

no expectation of the external. no dependance nor need of nurture. detachment, indifference, unaffected less the air of animosity or obligation. whether bestowed or benign. both just are

let willful exuberance & nomadic reverence fade. the romance of living abroad (applaud or a fraud?)

homeless, jobless, carless & senseless. nothing to unpack but ones mind, witch is more baggage than I wish to carry. a lifetime of accumulation and rumination only to build an abomination. yet again the exorcism exercise demands to denounce a cycle of suffering intent on eating itself

when work is not aligned with ones resonance we become the payer not the payee. the toll is to toil, to toil is the toll. why are we so willing to succumb to slavery? if we only dug our own hole & planted our own seed. would being left to our own devices mean left to our own vices? most are institutionalized by walls unseen. we need to be told we can leave the table (after you eat your greens)

by chance or by choice, to silence or to voice.

contributing calamities continually nourish the insanity

what if going with the flow isn’t taking you were you want to go?

it’s a survival revival. pursuing a purposeless purpose. longing to belong.

it’s not about him or her it’s about what one allows themselves to become in the eyes of another

i’ve thunk every thought I could think. the well is empty

no longer evading efficacy. swift & succinct. no perilous precipice nor chasm of compromise. just one step closer to thee inevitable

if i’m made in the image of then I do not wish to see his face

…to be continued